p i p e d r e a m

SOMETIMES, I dream about the most better thing that could happen in my life. Everything I wish could be happen or everything I miss, or for more exact, everyone I miss. Is that crazy to say, that someone who had gone is actually never really go because they live in my dreams? not everyday and every dreams, but they do. And it's crazy to say that I could feel their existence real, almost like it wasn't a dream. Almost like this now, is a dream. and sometimes, almost like they never go in the first place, and I just dream about people in my house that I will see them when I'm awake. because I was never a lucid dreamer I didn't know it wasn't real when I'm in it. and when I'm awake all I could think of is how much I wanted to stay because that would be a very beautiful chance. The probability to hear and see. The idea of always being together. Other days, same dreams. It's been three or more days in a row that my dreams taken at real places, real houses and...

They mostly look.. angry? the opposite from me though, because now I have this happy expression on me. you can take that christmas. mine. went pretty well. Though it isn't as good as when everyone was here and I, somehow, still can't feel content enough, it's one of the better night regardless. I have these line of sentences in my head but couldn't really words them out. Can I just hug my laptop and we pretend that everythings are all said? Merry Christmas people.

1.  christmas is coming soon but my days still drenched in white and plain scenes 2.  paper isn't suck (the huge white space to fill is) 3.  out of words

The sedate version of one of my least favorite christmas song  erlend oye had me change my preference though

THE NICEST THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID. I don't know what happened to me, but I feel really uncomfortable to say nice things to anyone nowadays. It's not like I'm that nice in the past but I think it isn't as worst. I keep blurt out things I didn't mean to say or words weren't supposed to use. The weird part is rather than feeling sorry I just hope they could get what I mean behind what I didn't mean. I kept thinking 'well they would understand' or 'they will, I know they will' but world didn't work like that. I know just how much I hurt people feeling (ok now I'm feeling sorry) but I think it's better to say something rude and honest rather than honey coating your words, emphasizing compliments or faking an interest to attract someone or just simply to be nice. Sweet and affectionate talk kind of freaks me out. I can't bring myself to say something so fondly or comforting. but hey I've never demand someone to say sweet t...