p i p e d r e a m

I was reading this letter and find myself feels warm inside. first of all, maybe because I still have my grandma alive by my side. I can't say that she is as healthy as she supposed to be.. but I believe that If I were to write a letter to her, this is how the letter going to be: ... My dear Oldmom, I don't know if you could read this clearly or not. if not, you can wear your glasses that I place right besides you, yes that yellow-transparent glasscase. or you can also find other person to read this for you, I hope they can read my words while makes my feeling fathomable. this is Ayrine. I know you always forget my name and that makes me feels a bit blue, but all will be okay because you never forget who Ayrine is. all I want to say is the reason why I always ask you to tell me your story. Why 'today we haven't chat yet, tell me a story' was always my first sentence to you every night I came back home. I love how you laughed, m...

Berdiri berdansa dalam jahitan japon* rumahan sekali berdiri serentakan rencana tinggal teman lain berbicara dan berskandal dan tertawa malam larut tabur bunga dalam dentuman alunan dentang malam semakin larut Jadi ceritanya hari ini saya mengingat satu-dua cerita penggalan mengenai almarhumah nenek saya. Beliau yang telah pergi hampir 4 tahun yang lalu memang sosok yang suka bercerita tentang masa mudanya. Walaupun banyak lupa tentang hal yang terjadi beberapa jam yang lalu, lupa sudah makan atau belum, lupa saya ini cucu nya yang bernama siapa, oma tidak pernah melupakan cerita masa mudanya. Oma selalu berkata bercerita tentang waktu lampau sambil tertawa sampai terkikik. Matanya yang mulai berwarna mengabu terlihat berbinar berlapis tipis kaca air. Mungkin itu yang membuat hal pertama yang saya lakukan saat sampai dirumah adalah masuk ke kamar oma, berlutut atau duduk di tepi springbed nya dan bertanya 'Apa kabar Oma hari ini?' 'Oma ceritain lagi soal..' lalu beliau...

I'm kinda miss my grandma tonight. I'm just going through my old folders which contain many old photos and there is this photograph of her one or two years before she attacked by stroke for the unfortunately third time. It's quite hurt when you need to let go to someone while they're sleep in a coma. You could never say goodbye. I could never say how much I love our time together, how much I long to her smile every night I sat on the floor beside her bed took every word she hardly spoke. How much I will miss her and how much I wanted to take her pain away. There is always a reason to be gloom and to be gloom is to refresh old memories. Today is a different day. bold sunlight, a little too hot in the morning but warm at night. too dusty. Different friends, different place, different way of car drive. But still. old days made you sad like a broken carousel,

'If you're going to San Francisco Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair If you're going to San Francisco You're gonna meet some gentle people there' to my father and grandma. there some wishes from me. to your path. both of you. I know it isn't San Fransisco take place. but I hope that was a better place than here. somewhere nice. with nice people and weather, with some flowers too. top of that I'll pray for you. I know, you did that to me. so long. so.. long.

Ada perbedaan dengan kehilangan nyawa dan kehilangan kehidupan. Tidak seperti kehilangan nyawa yang mengakhiri semuanya, setiap kita bisa kehilangan kehidupan bahkan disaat kita masih hidup. kehilangan tanpa pernah merasa kehilangan, tanpa kesadaran. lebih buruk, kehilangan tanpa tau apa yang hilang. tanpa tahu apa yang dimiliki. seperti beberapa orang yang tetap hidup tanpa sadar mereka telah lama mati. kehidupannya. saya sering mendengar kabar seseorang kehilangan nyawanya. setiapp hari tiap detik ribuan jiwa mengalir pergi dari tubuh. hal yang menyakitkan. namun tidak menyedihkan. karena memang seperti itu yang seharusnya terjadi. Sakit kah kecelakaan kah dibunuh kah terbunuh kah semua alasan kepergian nyawa adalah hal yang seharusnya sudah disuratkan. seharusnya lebih sering lagi saya melihat seseorang yang telah kehilangan kehidupannya tanpa kehilangan nyawanya. lebih sederhana, kehilangan makna kehidupannya. hidup tanpa arah hidup tanpa sadar kalau hidup adalah kepemilikan. Sebua...

Last night, some bad insomnia happened to me, After watch a movie with my Grandma at 3.00 o'clock, I felt not sleepy at all. Actually I often chat until mid-night with my Grandma, because we both have same problem to sleep early at the suppose time. and suddenly, I saw that pretty smile from her. just so you know, my Grandma is a moody one, She's not always smile like this. I've been told about most of grandparents habits, they usually forget names and things, they moody (sometimes laugh and make a joke but the at other times, didn't wan't to talk about anything). and I think I'm the lucky one that night, to see my Grandma pretty little smile, so I captured it :) We took picture together, talked about her favorite dance and sport while she was young and etcetera. After she feel sleepy, and started to cloe her eyes, I put a blanket for her and then go to my own room. I tweet unimportant things (mobile way) and read others tweet ...

yesterday was my grandma 81 th birthday. if you're follow my blog in a long time, you must already know that i really love and respect my grandmom. or if you not, i'll describe view things about her: She is a strong single parent woman.  She raise her 2 daughter and son by herself as a tailor. She made wonderfull cooks. and also delicious food. She love to dance. She love to sing an english song. She has amazing life experience. She love to chat about her past. and I love to hear about her past. She is moody, in such a bad mood, she just stay quite  and won't answer things you questioned her. She like to laugh at her own joke. or sometimes at mine. She usually forget things. and also forget names. She smile when look some money, and think what she can buy with it. She love to walk and travel, altough she can't help herself to stop love. She sometimes act like a baby, and i treat her like what she wants, but always keep my respect to her, because after all she's not ...

taken at: grandma's room time: 21.00 pm

yang selalu saya deng a r dari oma adalah nasihat dan doa. oma suka mend oakan orang lain,walau tidak bisa dipungkiri kalau beliau lebih suka lagi ngomelin orang lain (hihihi sorry oma :*) LAGU ! oma suka nyanyi.dan lagu yang selalu dinyanyikan oma (atau bisa dibilang playlist wajibnya) adalah lagu 'my bonnie' juga lagu dengan potongan syair kayak gini 'we were sailing along,on moonlight bay' yang saya (dengan sdikit pengetahuan mengenai balad 50-an) juga gatau judulnya apa ~~' haha.tapi saya tetep ikut sing along bersama oma ~^-^~. Jufelin Potoboda (oma tersayang) akan berulang tahun yang ke 80 pada tanggal 12 Juli (yang kira2 *sambil ngitungin jari) 8 hari lagi. Happy birthday in advance ya oma. God bless