last song

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then 

He was there. right after me, listen to the radio while i'm busy on my computer. he was my only one soul mate to chat, about anything. when my mom doesn't know a thing and my brother doesn't understand a thing. we both are the perfect couple in our house. my ear big just like him, my eyebrows thick, just like him, my mind set just like him. he once made me cry. and also made me laugh. 

Spin me around till I fell asleep 
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved 

I can't watch tv without remembering his favorite shows, I can't eat without remembering his favorite dishes, i can't listen musics without remembering his favorite song, I can't look around the house without remember his favorite spot. I can't write without remember his handwriting. I just can't. without him. These five days feel just like him going out of town to work and will go home as soon as possible. I keep looking for a door and telling myself, he'll be right there again. I also keep looking at my phone and telling myself, he'll call. 

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him 
I’d play a song that would never, ever end 
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again 

View months ago, he always bothers me to play some of his favorite song while I'm on the internet. I've download some and arrange them into a playlist I named, lagu papa. Usually we both sing along all of these songs, and there's nothing I can do to help my bad voice when trying to reach some refrains high note and that made him laugh. I play it again now, and there's nothing I can do to help myself didn't cry.

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again 

what can I do about being tough? 
I miss him already. 

Dance with my Father - Luther Vandross
5 th of November 2011 - Rest In Peace my Beloved Father.
selamat jalan pa, sampai ketemu lagi nanti. 
ade sayang papa