p i p e d r e a m

BOOK 01 : HUMAN ACTS BY HAN KANG   This year, you would like to try something different, I said to myself. I had always underestimated 'a year of reading challenges' because I would hate it if I gave myself a deadline for doing what I like, like reading a book, for example. It was merely because I didn't want to put pressure on myself. But I'd like to try something different, as I said, hence: Book 01 in 2026, Human Acts by Han Kang, translated into English from Korean by Deborah Smith. I picked up and bought Human Acts from this independent bookstore in Canggu Street, Bali, called Wonder Bookstore . I really like the place, it's relatively small but have great collection of international books. They also have a cafe area indoors and on the verandah, which looked so cozy. Back to the book review. I feel like this was one of the fastest I finished a book. I read it in a week, and honestly, it would be faster without my 9-to-5 work every day. (I know some of you spee...

I loved this song like a year ago and then listened to it again and love this song all over again. I think it has one of the most romantic lyric ever written. Mother, don't worry. I killed the last snake that lived in the creek bed Mother, don't worry. I've got some money I saved for the weekend Mother, remember being so stern with that girl who was with me? Mother, remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body? So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten Sons are like birds flying upwards over the mountain Mother, I made it up from the bruise on the floor of this prison Mother, I lost it all of the fear of the Lord I was given Mother, forget me now that the creek drank the cradle you sang to Mother, forgive me I sold your car for the shoes that I gave you So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten Sons can be birds taken broken up to the mountain Mother, don't worry. I've got a coat and some friends on the corner Mother...

I was reading this letter and find myself feels warm inside. first of all, maybe because I still have my grandma alive by my side. I can't say that she is as healthy as she supposed to be.. but I believe that If I were to write a letter to her, this is how the letter going to be: ... My dear Oldmom, I don't know if you could read this clearly or not. if not, you can wear your glasses that I place right besides you, yes that yellow-transparent glasscase. or you can also find other person to read this for you, I hope they can read my words while makes my feeling fathomable. this is Ayrine. I know you always forget my name and that makes me feels a bit blue, but all will be okay because you never forget who Ayrine is. all I want to say is the reason why I always ask you to tell me your story. Why 'today we haven't chat yet, tell me a story' was always my first sentence to you every night I came back home. I love how you laughed, m...

Under the moonlight I glimpse A familiar dimple smile I had once  Begone simple days and innocent ages Short-lived like a butterfly in a phases Under the moonlight all seems pretty as time moving ever so briefly never knew that my old soul would catch up, this fast onto my faces Under the moonlight I felt so different like a cruel disposition never knew that old memories could catch up, with sudden epiphany of present days Begone childhood days and a mere silly happiness Short-lived like a meaningless youthful romance Do I entitle to make allure interpretation? or stories turns out pipedreams too? Even if it fuzzy under the dimmed light My mind clearer as it was never before Even if it bolder the line map on my skins My soul could never feel any wiser. And through the rearview mirror, I can just saw: Ah, there she goes again, pathetic sentimentalist!

Here is a quick dialogue that I just overheard from a kid and a mother. The kid, probably around 3 or 4 years old watched his mother hold his little brother's hand in an upright position, they were all steps above a grass block area in front of this coffee shop where I just arrived. Kid: "Why you're holding him like that?" Mom: "Is to teach your brother how to walk by himself" his little brother is probably almost one year's old. Kid: "Ohh, Just like me ya mom? I can walk on this grass well" He said lightly while performing a little run proudly in front of them. Mom: "Yes, dear, but your brother cannot just yet" They both a little yelled at each other to talk over the cry from the little one. (He seemed to hate to be held like that, and wiggled uncomfortably) Kid: "So, when is he gonna be able to walk on the grass? and also to walk on the water?" Mom: "What? he can't. I also can't walk on the water, and you also...

There are many things that I don’t understand, even if I tried to. It's always puzzling to me why people say life is so fleeting when it is the longest thing we will ever do. How people said that they love the rain but hated it when they get wet. I never understand how people can be so contrary to their own belief. I don’t understand the guts some people had for thinking that they are bad in someone else stories, but not bad in general. You think you’re so smart? No. you’re arrogant. I don’t understand the critic some people give to others who fall too fast in love and proceed to make commitment even faster with their own partner a year later. I don’t understand how entitled some people are. To think that they deserve something they don’t and to treat other people like they owe you something. No, they’re not. Even more with people that feels superior towards others, do you think you ever fought in a war or save a human race? No, you are not special. I don’t understand how difficult...

I was well into my thirties when I learned “Liberal Arts” as an academic course. So, the general meaning is education to learn about philosophy, literature, sociology, culture, creative art, and history. Lessons that are hard to quantify but essential to shaping your thinking and perspective in life. In other words, academics tend to be more concerned about physics, math, and biology as introductory courses at school. What disappoints me is that we usually have “Religion” as a required course, even in undergraduate study, no matter what class you took. The problem was not it as part of formal education, but when we do not have a liberality to accept it. In my opinion, religion is great if you believe in God, whichever one you want to know and believe. But it shouldn’t be required as a human being? Much as being told to have a religion since you were young because otherwise, you are going to hell. For me, morality, humility, empathy, and kindness are much more important things to have a...

The Upside of being a girl So lately, I have been into FRAN LEBOWITZ   talks and interviews. I purchased her book "The Fran Lebowitz Reader" a year after finishing her Netflix series "Pretend it's a City". I just never hear someone who talks and thinks like that [I clearly love her but I wanted to stay calm] [below are a few text transcripts of some of her interviews/speaking that I really like. And I just wanted to remember some of them. Because life moving so fast one of these days, I can get back to these notes that will lead me to re-listen / re-watch them whenever I wanted to relax on some laughs and perspectives.] Spotify podcast called >> "It's a Long Story" << by Sydney Opera House station on Spotify. Total 42:34 minutes interviewed by Edwina Throsby   Q : Are you a feminist?  A: I never really thought of myself that way, because I never really think of myself as a person who agrees with that many people, you know. I live in th...

This lovely small house stands almost like a silent spectator to the sound of kids playing every other afternoon. When visiting the old existing house at the beginning of the project, I know that a humble and raw design will be a great addition to such a serene neighborhood.  The client, a young couple, was imagining their first house to be renovated as a growing house. Space-efficient, and budget-wise, but structurally able to be expanded in the future. A thoughtful owner and the amount of time and energy they put into this house construction helped me a lot to understand and put every idea into the visual design. I came to understand that the smaller the scoop, the more intimate practice they require. We focus more on the utility and structure addition in order to accommodate new service functions on the layout. A small addition of a concrete slab is a must as a service area. I once read a description about White House, a home design by Kai Liu, a Shanghai-based architect, about ...

To quote Charles Dickens,  “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, (and yes it wasn't originally Taylor Swift's lyric). That sentence is probably what I will tell my grandnieces to describe this crazy-odd era of a second-wave pandemic. It's been a while since the last time I write on this blog so a 'reality is the last thing I wanted to write about. Let's write about pleasant things like a movie review and that scientific proof of music can be a painkiller. Interesting enough? *Disclaimer: spoiler alert I finally watch Kodachrome after this movie file sits long enough in my folder to the point I forgot the excitement I have when I was looking for it. Kodachrome is this one color film by Kodak which discontinued after about seventy years of use in the analog photography market. This movie follows a story of a young man who reluctantly joins his father's trip to Kansas to develop his last Kodachrome roll films before the process is permanently unavai...

No, it is not a post about food recipes. {sorry to disappoint you, my non-existent reader}... Just this morning I had a revolution on how to cook savory oatmeal as one of the few new things that I welcome in my life, other than, a new house and hair color. Today's marked as the first month of living in a new house with a completely different layout and environment. I don't know why I'm making such a big deal about it, but I did cry myself to sleep every day a week before moving out of my old house, my childhood home. I spent almost all my life at the said shelter and it holds many memories of beloved deceased family members, that I realized, once the house deconstructs by the new owner, the moments will be buried for good in the ground. Maybe, God, Himself wanted to slap me in the face for my confusing act. For months, even years, I will pray for a new better life, for a chance to start over for my family and me. Nevertheless, when the days come, I cry because deep down it ...

Blogging is one of the ways to calming my mind. It is 10.00 PM and I'm in my bedroom with a glass of coffee stare blankly into my laptop screen looking for interesting things to write. I said in the beginning that blogging is a way to calming my mind, well, drinking coffee is also another way. In fact, I have this unfinished post for almost three weeks now. I still remember why I wanted to write this particular blog post with the title of domestic happiness. But I got lazy? maybe sleepy? or stuck? that I ended up just wrote the title and close the page altogether. Weeks ago, my mom and I went for a walk to buy a broomstick in this old grocery store in our neighborhood. The shop's owner is an old man with a pretty interesting character. This old man has a custom to always share his belief and view about God with me and my mom. A simple broomstick or other cleaning tools shopping could turn into a deep ideology sharing moment pretty quickly. No kidding. I said sharing while in fa...

I'm kinda into the cognitive type personality theory recently, and the extraverted/introverted epitome has me hooked. There are two major functions inside one's brain that distinguish their character and how a person differs from one another, and those are sometimes, a root of different perspectives, opinions, and values that humans hold. Those two are perceiving and judging function. I'm not gonna dive deep into the definition and theory for all the functions which you can easily search and read by yourself all-over the internet. But I surely thinking over and over about the extraverted and introverted feeling that falls into the judging function category, and how it works on world condition right now. The extraverted feeling is how we make a decision based on the external value that will affect other people. Introverted feeling is making the decision based on our personal value and how it will affect ourselves. So I'm willing to address this current global dilemma...

“Walkers are 'practitioners of the city,' for the city is made to be walked. A city is a language, a repository of possibilities, and walking is the act of speaking that language, of selecting from those possibilities" A qoute by Rebecca Solnit which I found as an opening paragraph of one of the short story inside the book, Tales of Two Cities: The best and worst times in today's New York. I'm half way finish reading this book and I wanted to say that I'm in love with all of the opening stories. It feel like I share the same feeling and perspectives with some of the authors of the book.  People are the atom of the city and whether we're realize it or not, we depend our daily mechanism of move around from one place to another in the city by system that are already there. Arranged by city planner, government policies, execute by local authorities, and lived by us. The atom. A city can be monstrously ugly or enchantingly beautiful depends on what kind of glass...

'I would learn of their dream in flowers, but butterfly have no voice' it's about the fact that butterflies live for such a brief period of time. All they would understand is being in the beauty of flowers, so if a butterfly slept and had a dream, that's what it would be about. {an opening page for Frankie issue 87 I think I will always remember this..}

Lead me among your deserted soil, I will still bloom like a fool Lead me between the drain pipe of your dreams I will sank and dance as the ocean rhymes Never did I hear a sound so alluring As your intertwine footsteps on the edge of the sand I love you quite, tiny and little Like a darkness inside a whale’s stomach I love you subtle and afraid Like a dolphin’s cry across a distant bay Albeit my soul very merry Never did I want to possess you Even when I bleed your name like dripping sweats Never did I intent to keep you inside a bubble Only will I take of what little that I could Be still with it Through the rest of my pathetic life

Hotell, an Art House movie from Sweden is marked as the first movie that I watched in Kineforum.  But before I talked about the movie, I wanted to tell you shortly about this first-timer-thing. Kineforum is a non-commercial mini-theater located inside Taman Ismail Marzuki (TIM), Jakarta. A place where you can watch the classic and contemporary movie, national and international ones. It's like a refreshing air to watch a non-English spoken language movie in the ocean of American blockbuster here and there. But anyway. The list of movies that shows are free or cost you like twenty or thirty thousand rupiahs. You can also donate voluntarily after reserve your ticket. You can just put your money inside a wooden box on the right side of the reception table. Being a latecomer that I am. I arrived ten minutes before the movie started, exhausted from all the walked from the entry gate, I reserved my ticket and also bought a much-needed ion drink. When I realized that I have to donate ...

    Yesterday I just finished re-reading this anthology entitled 'Wajah Terakhir' by Mona Sylviana. I'm the type of people who read their books more than once. Maybe because I always have a newly found fascinating fact that I wasn't aware of on my first time reading them. Or maybe I'm just that nerd..? Anyway, back to Wajah Terakhir. This is maybe the only book that I like but never had the courage to re-reading it. Because there was always something that held me back every time I'm about to pick this book. You guys must be wondering why one had to have a courage to just simply read a book. But it's true. It's not just an ordinary fiction I tell you. It filled with realities with made up names and characters. But it clearly is a collection of stories about our decaying typical urban issues and irony. It's about women.     Many faces of women with dark facts on their fingertips. Honestly, I can't stand how the stories were written. They are writte...

Hello! These are the result for my first black and white film.  The last photo is one of the chicken place around my neighborhood where I'm loosing count on how many time that I spent there enjoying unexpensive coffees and free Wifi. I like black and white as much as I like to imagine how documentation and recording movies worked before color television are invented. In monochrome we depend on light to define an object. Darker and lighter tone to render the images. I like the color one better because black and white looks sad to me. Life has been 'black and white' these past months for me too. I'm still hoping for better days to come...

Watch the sea rise and fall! Atone, for the fisherman. As the sun changing beneath the shore, And skin to skin with the sand . Do not race with time, I tell you, do not! 'Cause we only know how to be late And sinking right after .. I always choose a mountain over a beach to show how I really hate the sun and how annoying for me to stand under the strong sunlight. Until I experienced living in the city that surround by water and lit intensely by the ultraviolet everyday. Everything looks dazzling more than the way they normally do. So I guess that's what makes me appreciate every little things more.. Like how I love every minute that I spent there, every person that I had the chance to know and befriends with, every morning ride with a rice field view, every sunset, every ceremonies songs that I overheard when days started to getting darker, every food, the calm I felt in that one favorite coffee shop of mine, The 30 minutes ride to the beautiful beach, afternoon hike, old templ...